My brain says no but my pants say off.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I intend to get homeless drunk
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
