maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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