I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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