physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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