More tranny stories later!
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
