wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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