the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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