A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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