i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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