I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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