i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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