She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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