Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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