I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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