Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Drunk is not a location!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
