Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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