he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
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u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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