I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
tell me about the eggs
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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