He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
