I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
