I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
