but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
