Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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