they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
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Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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