Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
