he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
