yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
