and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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