I wanna bring you to show and tell
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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