best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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