probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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