girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
