how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
