Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
