I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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