Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
