my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
