my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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