Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
