Cold hands, warm shart.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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