forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
