i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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