I think I am morally bankrupt
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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