She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
