i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
