I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
