Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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