Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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