I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
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I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
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My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I still have a little drunk in my system
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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