ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
