Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
