I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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