my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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