You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
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My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
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Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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