so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
