i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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