YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
