Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
