I will die if light touches me.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
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