You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
